ME & MATT SAW R. KELLY AT PANCAKE HOUSE!!!!!*









*Okay so Matt was insisting it was R. Kelly even though I don't really know what he looks like, or I haven't it memorized, you know; anyway there was this table with like six well-dressed tall black dudes, we're talkin' suits, and about six waitresses appeared to be tending to their table. The guy on the right had cornrows and apparently was R. Kelly ("I KNOW THAT BASTARD ANYWHERE!" -Matt) R. Kelly also lives in the neighborhood we were in (Gold Coast.)

here's what i did for a month in art school:

( BUILT A GIANT SQUID! )

i built the head (30 different-sized circles + 2 8ft sheets of pink foam + belt sander + foam glue + red &wht paint + acrylic medium + clear plastic) and everyone else built their own tentacle.

btw, the longest tentacle is ten feet so that gives you an idea of the scale.

AND IT WAS MY IDEA <3

wednesday throat swollen up, but there was beautiful french nude figure model in class, looks like Amelie with a bellybutton piercing -- "god i am going to draw her as beautifully as i can, i just have to capture her"

thursday sleep, class? sleep, work?

friday call in sick to work -- before the rain hits i'm riding a moped in an alleyway, my skirt hitching up high on my thighs, little kids zooming by on their bikes laughing. it's just hours before chicago goes insane, it's eighty-five degrees and we sit in the tiled kitchen listening to the bhuddha box twitch with white noise as the rain falls in horizontal sheets through the open door, girl with polka dot dress, chucks and armpit hair says "you guys are crazy to go bowling in this weather--"


saturday, $10 a ticket and my hands are Xed for the first time since black cat, Foals make everybody move like hipster hyenas ("i just want to say hello there vice magazine to that girl, and then light her on fire") until somebody nails somebody else in the stomach, the crowd bucks up, and the excitement really begins.

i wasted my beer-addled time on three miles of light rain, sidewalks and and three (3) tacos, one (1) unfinished, left in a paper bag until proper greased up the side.

least i came home to a twin bed and a quietly whistling wind.

that's my grandpap.

i should have kept his hair grey, though, not sure why i changed it.

i watched BEEF III with matt last night. now i'm going to be listening to all of T.I.'s songs very closely to see if there are any beefs hidden in there. the best beef they talked about was definitely Nelly vs Lil Flip I think it was. They have this interview with Nelly where he's like "That motherfuckin' song was NOT fuckin' startin' a beef wit flip. I coulda said, "Yo' mothafuckin pussy ass lil bitch move it right THURR," but did I say that? I could have said "Fuck your pussy ass movin' right THURR," but I DIDN'T. I said, I LIKE the way you move it right THURR."

There was a huge beef about who invented the word "Dirty", I'm assuming in reference to rap songs. Maybe I'm wrong but I'm pretty sure Christina invented the word Dirrty.

YEASAYER w/ MAN MAN logan square auditorium april 16
FOALS subterranean april 26
YELLE stan mansion mansion april 29
IRON & WINE the vic april 21&22
DOES IT OFFEND YOU, YEAH? stan mansion may 13
THE LONG BLONDES logan square auditorium may 24

I can't wait to start going to shows again. It's like every time I stop looking, I realize there's a million amazing shows coming up, and when I'm looking for them they're not there. I'm most excited for Foals! Ahhhhhh! They're finally on tour! Fuuuuuuck!

http://www.myspace.com/foals
God they fucking rule.

Y/N?

I saw something amazing yesterday.

I was walking out of a Mexican restaurant with my friends after having dinner, and in the lobby I see a guy who's obviously homeless and warming himself up for the night. But then I notice he's emptying his pockets of change, nickels and dimes he's probably gotten from shaking his cup all day. Cupping all the change in his hands, he feeds it coin by coin into the jukebox, and a couple minutes later, "Thriller" floods the restaurant.

never again.

Chicago, all I dream about is one day of sun. One day where I can go outside without my face freezing off. Please, I don't even care if it's cold, just make it sunny, because these grey cloudy skies are depressing me more and more each day. We haven't seen the sun for two weeks or more.

Like, when I remember when I was in Ocean City this summer and it was so hot my fingers felt like they were blistering off, I want that so bad I could cry.

The weather is nasty. Slush, snow, ice, hail, some days I walk back from class and think I'll die half-way home.

I have a racking cough that makes my head throb and my temperature seems to swing wildly at random.

Anyway.

I got my I.D. taken away last Saturday at Subterranean. So much for going out this week. Hopefully I can get a new one tomorrow, so I can go see Lance DJ at Debonair.

The one good thing about valentine's day is FlosstraPROMus, where Flosstradamus plays and everyone dresses up and brings a date. I'm excited.

My friend Jenni threw a fashion show on Thursday at this club Sonotheque. She rented it out and everything for free, and Legend was doing the filming, Lance was DJing, so I came early to help set up.

It ruled.



That one in the front in the green was so wasted that she grabbed someone from the crowd when she walked down the runway, and attempting to get up on the platform, stumbled off. Her final act of public drunkenness was to pull a camera out of her ass and take a picture of herself once she'd fallen. Lovely.



The models were great, the designers were great, everything was fun. We went to Evil Olive afterwards, this martini bar-type place I guess, and it was okay. It's always "okay". Everyone went there after the fashion show so that was pretty cool, but me and Lance had to walk back to his pace in the snow and rain and slush and wind and negative degree weather because there were NO FUCKING TAXIS!

In other news though, I've been sick as shit. Along with some flu-ish thing, birth control's throwing me out of whack and I'm weak all the time and super sleepy. I was going to go out last night but I fell asleep at 8PM and woke up at like 1:30PM. Argh.

I'm taking six classes, too, two on Mondays and one every other day except Saturday and Sunday. I should be enjoying my time off, damnit!

Oh and, most hilarious thing ever, I met Chicago nightlife photographer Kyle LaValley last night, who was taking the photos. She told me about this time she met Mark Cobrasnake and she was super drunk, and she goes "Are you Mark?"

"Yes."
"Mark Cobrasnake?"
"Yes."
"FUCK YOU! I'M THE CHICAGOSNAKE, MOTHERFUCKER!"

This was hilarious to me because she is this little girl, and yeah. That's all.

THANKS CHICAGO




GAHHHH

It said "-1" earlier but it changed before i could get a screenshot.

two straight days of debauchery





spent the morning in the hospital with an anorexic pill popper.

I leave for Chicago tomorrow.

Dave wants me to sleep over the day I get to my dorm. I've told him yes, but I'm not sure. I go back and forth thinking about our relationship. On one hand, I think I'm eventually going to get attached to him and while I'm not, we should stop this friends-with-benefits thing. On another hand, he is so lovely and romantic to me all the time, I think maybe he actually does have some sort of feelings for me. Calls me all the time, all that stuff.

I just really want a partner right now. Maybe not a boyfriend. Just something solid. A solid friendship, even. I don't even have that right now. Dave's the one who calls me the most. I used to talk to Legend every day, and then he started this weird shit -- god, he's such a strange person -- he told me to lower my age on Myspace because "you're not fifty, and it's making me look bad." I refused, saying he was being stupid, and he called me, saying "Repeat after me. Legend WILL HIT SOFIA." over and over. I wouldn't, and he just kept saying it -- it went on for probably half an hour. Like, what the fuck? I kept asking him why and he'd just repeat himself. God, the people I do make friends with just end up being fucked up.

I went to Right Round with Paige Saturday night. It was terrible. Probably 95% of the people were over forty. No joke. Women my mom's age wearing spaghetti strap tops with no bra and grey-haired men, rockin' out like they were twenty-five. When I walked in, the guy at the door X'ed my hands twice, claiming "You normally behave yourself very well, but there will be a lot of underage kids here tonight, so I want to make sure you won't wash this off."

Stupid kind of joke.

it makes me really sad that there are cunts like this on myspace who get 64 comments on this picture, and not a single one is about the beautiful heroin/coke bruises on her arms, so beautifully displayed and trendy for all to see. making her all the more beautiful.

don't read this post for fear of falling (aka infection of bad luck)

voodoo doll found in miami caused these problems:


-plane i was on getting a shattered windsheild mid flight and emergency landing, three subsequent flights after that.
-chris being pulled over and him being arrested and the cops left me there, and after
-chris' car getting stolen
-ian and madison and i almost getting in a car accident
-drunk guy on the metro falling over the railing at 2am (we looked once and he was there, and again and he was gone; then a piercing scream filled the air). he was alright, but it scared me

maybe not. but still. weird string of bad luck possibly that i have spread to other people. just started with the plane really. madison always makes fun of me for this.

good times with mads & ian and partying at the 930, tittsworth being a load of bullshit and fucking codebreaker being even worse. god. tittysworth even stole some of will's songs. seriously, you can't play fucking junior senior twice in one night.

boy, i'm starting to feel so tired.

"they know fuck all about the shit I'm fucking all about fucking up, you know what shit I mean, girl, I mean... fuck! word. fuck that shit... Imma gonna get mine, you know whats it is that I says

grammar is fo' gays, son

guys who like guys, but girls who like girls are okay - you know? I like that shit in my rap videos, girl.
yeah, touch them boobies, girl! wooohooo!

hypocrisy is awesome."



i love you lars

I need to get real for once.

Being home has made me realize how superficial I act when I'm in Chicago.

Getting drunk, having fun, kissing all the boys, going to all the parties, abandoning my art work and what I am really in school for.

I don't care about trying to have famous friends, I don't care about looking real trendy, at least that's what I tell myself. But I know a little part of me wants to fit in as best I can, and find my little niche of friends. But I need to get myself out of this purely aesthetic, purely physical mindset. I should fucking THINK every once and awhile.

What a stressful day. I'm finally home though.

Last night I hung out with Lance until eleven or so and then took a cab to Rodan, this bar I guess, until like two. Then Pauly was all drunk and like LET'S GO TO SUBTERRANEAN !!!! So we went, and it ended up being very strange. Apparently Mondays are gay dance nights. This girl was grinding on me and these two guys were flailing around on the dancefloor so insanely that one of them knocked my glass out of my hand and it broke on the ground. He bought me another glass which made it okay, but I didn't finish it, and I was definitely too sober to have fun. Although afterwards, Pauly's friend Wes (who didn't drink) drove me to Dave's and we had Steak & Egger's along the way. Which apparently serves steak and eggs all night. It was a bit of a scary place, especially since we were in the Southside.

At twelve I went back home. I felt bad because I didn't really get to say goodbye to Dave. And when I stayed the night, I was so fucking tired (stayed up the night before until four working on a project) and probably a little bit wasted that I just basically crashed.

Then I cleaned for two hours and packed, and took the train to O'Hare, which took an hour.

It was the worst fucking airport experience ever. It took them like forty minutes to check my one bag and since I didn't have a federal I.D., not only did I have to wait an hour in line for security, but I had to be frisked. What the FUCK.

I ended up maknig my flight by like two minutes only because the plane was taxing. Everyone else had already boarded.

All in all, I guess it was a pretty okay goodbye to Chicago.